Whether you want to learn how to deal with anger issues, or how to help someone else with anger issues, forgiveness of others is essential for your health and well-being. While it is never easy, to heal, you must forget being wronged and forgive others, move on and search for happiness in your life. Here are some ways you can learn what forgiveness is and how to be strong and learn from difficulties.
What Is Forgiveness?
- The ability to fully accept someone’s wrongdoing; to let go of anger, resentment, and hate; to say goodbye to feelings of negativity and say hello to a lighter and happier way of being.
- Forgiveness is the first vital step when understanding how to deal with anger issues.
Set a Positive Intention for Anyone Who Has Harmed You
- You set the tone for how you feel around the person who wronged you and your intention for them affects your ability to find the peace of forgiveness.
- Many people hold onto past hurts and pains for years, seeking revenge against those who hurt, betrayed, or spoke poorly of them.
- Focus on a positive intention —putting aside the pain and anger, what, deep down, do you wish for them? You may wish for them to learn from their mistakes or to find peace in their life. This also applies if your goal is how to help someone with anger issues.
- Focus on a positive thought in the process of forgiveness—your intention for that person who hurt you—and you’ll speed up the forgiveness process as a result.
- Repeat the affirmation: “I accept what you have done. I release you from my life and I hope the best for you.” This is also a great first step for how to help someone with anger issues.
Be Grateful for Lessons Learned
- If you can see through the pain, there’s often a life lesson—look for what he/she taught you, and begin to focus on that lesson instead of the pain of the memory.
- The shift in your mindset should be that there are no failures . . . just setbacks from which you learned a valuable lesson that you will not repeat and more successes!
- After being sexually assaulted, the lesson could be to be more selective of whom you trust and whom you don’t, or to listen to your intuition more closely and act on it when something “just doesn’t feel right about someone.”
Experience Is Your Teacher
- Even though you feel pain now, you are a stronger person for passing through your difficulties. If you feel worn down, you will be all the more equipped for other life challenges.
- Do you need to forgive a parent, sibling or ex-spouse? Instead, focus on what they taught you. Some lessons are positive and others are negative (what not to do). Did they teach you to be true to yourself (when you weren’t), or that you stopped believing in yourself or taking care of yourself when you were in a relationship with them?
- Everything is a lesson to be learned—when you know how to be better, you do better in life and come out stronger.
- Sometimes you need experience outside of yourself. Take advantage of learning life lessons from others by reading books that deal with anger.
Practice the On/Off Switch of Resentment and Jealousy
- Visualizing a power switch is an effective tool for how to deal with anger issues and can be used any time to seek out forgiveness.
- If you start to feel anger, close your eyes and imagine that power switch in the “off” position. Now imagine turning the switch to “on,” and fix that negative thought to be something positive about the person, or what he/she contributed to your life in a good way.
- Open your eyes, and feel better about yourself and the choices you’ve made!
A Few Last Words
How to deal with anger issues or how to help someone with anger issues start with forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight, but when you commit to having a positive attitude, saying prayers of gratitude and accepting what they’ve done (instead of running from the reality of it), you will reach a point of forgiveness. Use these suggestions to get you there as quickly as you are ready for it.
Some other reading you might find helpful includes: